Is heaven all hype?

  • Whether heaven is a physical place or a state of mind, even probably a religious metaphor, that’s a question worth it’s own article. But let us assume heaven were real, would  any one look forward to it?

i don’t think so, Reason?

1.There’s no sex..

people do not  marry or get married.
so if you know you’re a bunch of migraines  and headaches without your dose of morning glory, your place is definitely not heaven, at least not the christian heaven .however if you have to go there, please just join al-shabaab and blow yourself probably in an american hospital.By taking with you a few american you might hit the jackpot; 77 virgins …           ain’t that worth a try or what do you think?

2. No internet( Twitter,FB, Porn-hub, etc)

you wonder why i said porn-hub, then you’ve not heard that the internet is approximately 80% porn- the twenty percent probably saying why the eighty percent is wrong                 all in all the point is, there’s no net in heaven.

Can you deny that, if you woke up in such a place you’d definitely wish to die again and again and again if need be?   I mean seriously what were they thinking?
they should at least consider selling bundles, we can trade our ‘riches in heaven’ there for some

3.No privacy

everyone knows what everyone else is doing.They’re all spirits , right? And spirits see behind walls , in darkness, even what your hand does in your pockets                                  You’re taking a piss and that chic you had a crush on in college is staring, or worse still your ex who said you’re too short is now asking her friends to see how far you can project a pee.                                                                                                                                                      Under these circumstances, you can’t even give yourself  a ‘shot’…

4. Ideal Mututho Laws Apply

Alcohol? forget about that .

How could a man worth his belly and throat decide to exclude beer from a place meant to reward our good  deeds.This ought to have been one hell of a party.
Those sons of Israel should have demanded a land flowing with beer and nyamchom, not honey or milk,; that’s where our problems definitely began.                                                                    i mean, seriously, who puts milk or honey before a good bottle of cool beer or a hot bottle of french wine?
so people, count me out, a tleast my grandfather knows how to brew  some good sugarcane stuff, so as you head above, lemme drop by my grandfather’s place and see what he’s got

6.No Football ,Epl, Fifa,

That’s a big joke, right? someone is, actually did take  the joke too far.
Unless  we’re talking of an asylum here,  i’m even starting to doubt such a place exists in the first place..


Finally, I have a question; do they put on clothes in heaven, because if they don’t people are really f**ked up big time.
if you expose a man’s thing for all and sundry, what will he brag
about? If you really care for a brother you don’t do that to him, the right thing to do is leave his length a mystery, where he can add or reduce a few inches as the situation demands!


About phinehasfinn

free spirit. love life. contemplative.
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